Deryn YOU PIMP
by GECOgally
Summary: a few short ficlets of the demented mind or yours truely. rated t, may go up, contains Deryn x just about anyone who i can think of to mock XD
1. Chapter 1

**I hope you are not too disturbed by this fic… It was just a silly little idea in my head. Oh lord what have I done..?**

Deryn made her way to the egg room. Apparently something was urgent, Newkirk had told Deryn to get to the room fast. What could be wrong? The _Leviathan _has had nothing but smooth sailing so far, was Alek's secret discovered? Did anything happen to the loris? Deryn's head spun madly. The eggs had already hatched so she almost never went down there anymore. When Deryn finally came to the door she found Dr. Barlow sitting in a chair, legs crossed, waiting for her.

"Why hello Mr. Sharp," she said calmly, "How good to see you."

"You needed me?" Deryn panted, "Is anything wrong?"

The lady boffin stiffened in her seat, and the corners of her mouth raised.

"Mr. Sharp, how good to see you," she repeated.

Deryn looked around confused. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, and the two lorises were playing with each other on the floor. Dr. Barlow made her way toward Deryn, moving slowly, was she rotating her hips more than usual?

"Dr. Barlo-" Deryn began but was cut off with a gloved finger.

"Please Mr. Sharp, call me Nora." She said.

Deryn blinked. Dr. Ba-….Nora, never acted this way. She most definitely never told anyone to call her Nora.

"Mr. Sharp, may I call you Dylan?" the woman asked, Deryn nodded her head slowly.

"I have grown quite fond of you…_Dylan_." Nora said softly, "Would you say you have grown fond of me?"

Deryn gulped. No way, no barking way that the lady boffin Dr. N Barlow-…Nora… would be…? _Would _she be? Eww… Deryn nodded slowly, there was no way in barking hell this was happening. The clever boots must have some trickery up her sleeve, some awful plan in store…that didn't involve what she was quite obviously intending.

"Good," she said in result to Deryn's nod, "I have a question for you,"

Once again Deryn nodded as if her head was on Clanker hinges.

"Do you know what a man does with a woman?" she asked, letting her hand touch the side of Deryn's face.

Deryn stiffened under the touch. This woman was a boffin, this woman was…_flirting?_

"Well, it goes like this _Dylan_." The lady boffin, trailing her gloved hand down Deryn's flat chest to her trousers. Deryn immediately flinched, giving Nora a smug smile.

"Ah, I see you do," Nora sighed, "As I have said, I am growing ever fonder of you by the minute."

Deryn was sweating bullets.

"Now _Dylan,_" Nora said, "Do you see yourself as a man?"

Deryn did not even nod. This time simply began to breathe deeper.

"Yes I see," If her hand trailed any lower… "Do you see me as a woman as well?"

With that, Deryn promptly bolted from the room. Still sweating, she locked herself in her quarters. Something _was _wrong, something was very, _very, _wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

Every face was his. Every head had his hair. The new boy on the printer was nothing like him. He was everywhere in my mind. I imagined him here, helping me print the newspapers instead of this other boy who knew nothing about anything. This boy who would _never _think up ways to save the revolution…_twice_. Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine the day I see him again. In a store, in the streets, I even have half a mind to find that ship of his with my body kite. I think of what my father would say. My father had liked him enough. Maybe, just maybe, someday we could have… maybe just somehow… no, never. Never in hell. My father. The new head of the revolution is nothing like him. Nene likes him, but he smokes and is not friendly to the other workers as _he _was. Two men ripped from my life in one day. Why had I not stayed a few more minutes? Why had I not gone with them? No, its crazy. I need to be here. But why can't _he _be here too? I am fatherless and loveless. But he never quite did love me did he? I sigh. _Stupid Lillit_. I tell myself. He is just a boy. An amazing boy, the _most _amazing boy… what I had wanted to be _my _boy. I looked sadly to the sky. He was up in that sky, somewhere.

I tripped and cursed. Wildly stumbling for balance, I slammed face-first into someone. I muttered my apology, this being the single polite gesture in the bazaar. I stepped back and was about to continue in my direction when I thought I would glace up, look at the person who I had bumped into.

Of course, I saw him again.

I thought I would. There was his sandy hair, his sharp face, and his tall figure, everything that made him up. I had become so used to seeing him that it no longer made my heart flutter. I looked down again and continued in my direction. It was a trick of the light, a trick of my mind in the short glimpse of the man I saw. It was not Dylan. It would never be Dylan. Waling through the streets was saddening sometimes. He called back an apology to me in an accent that was nothing like Dylan's, and when I turned to wave 'it's alright' I saw that his hair was more red than sandy, his face rounder, his eyes darker. Not Dylan, never Dylan. This boy I bumped into would never save us with brilliance. Every step is labored.

I passed by a salesman, showing me pretty dresses. I turned to say no,

Of course I saw him again.

The sly smile, as if he knew everything in the world. The way he brandished the dress, like _he _had brandished an idea. I needed to stop this. I do not want to cry. It is just a boy! Just a boy! He meant nothing to me! It was just a crush. I gave up after a while of this, permitting myself one last daydream. This will be the last time I swear.

**Okay this one isn't so suggestive, but I will make more soon. Poor Lillit ):**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Slut **_The voice of Dylan said. Deryn often hear her male ego's voice throughout her head, she decided not to worry too much about it.

_**You're a slut, that's how you are different.**_

Deryn was not quite sure what made her feel so different. She was just like she was before after all, still Dylan, still a soldier, but different. Her aunties had always told her that you became a woman on your wedding night. So was that it? Was Deryn a woman now? If that was true it was a very bad thing, there was no place for a woman in the air service, apart from Dr. Barlow of course.

One of the bigger things that made her feel odd were her little memories about that night. It was daft let Alek… do what he did… but he did and she could not really take it back now could she? Now she would feel the shivers down her skin at every occasion she saw him. She would think of what had happened every time he invited her into his room, which she would make some excuse and refuse of course. Maybe she WAS different, for she knew she would take any moments alone with Alek before. But that was a different kind of alone. That was the kind of alone where they would talk. When they were Dylan and Alek, and didn't try to get the other out of their pants. Deryn sighed. Letting Alek have his boyish ways was definitely a bad idea. Dylan's teasing voice echoed through her head.

_**You know you liked it.**_He teased.

_Shut it, _Deryn responded to the mental voice. It is very hard to lie to yourself.

_**Liar, you loved it! especially that part when… **_Deryn blushed as Dylan dug up all the best parts of that night. She felt different. Again. VERY different between her legs. Her mental conversation was cut short when she heard footsteps behind her.

Suddenly a chin was on her shoulder, an arm around her stomach, and another arm creeping down her pants.

"Alek," she heard herself moan, which lead his hand deeper and closer to a point where she would rather not be touched right now.

_**You know you want to. **_Dylan said, _**Just let him take you to his room**_**. **

"someone'll see," Deryn sighed, if he went any closer he would know she had been thinking about him recently. Alek stopped, shooting his hand out.

"Sorry Deryn I…um…sorry." Alek backed away. Perfect now they were both awkward.

_**Just be a slut about it**_ Dylan said irritated.

"Its alright Alek," Deryn sighed, "I don't think we should do anything for a while though."

"Oh," Alek looked to the ground. "Sorry, I guess I'll just…"

With that Alek ran down the hall. Deryn blushed and Dylan chuckled


	4. Chapter 4

Is this thing on? What exactly is it? Micro-_what? _Never mind. So you are an organization for what exactly? Gay rights? How do you know I'm…? Just tell my story? Okay, okay fine. Jeeze.

First of all, I found myself doing it again. They had put me on this unnatural ship to cure me of it, but then it happened. I was doing so well, ignoring my ungodly condition and being a normal boy. Then he had to come along and ruin it. He had to get caught up in a storm on his stupid unnatural Huxley then be dragged onto the ship. I was fine at first, he was just another midshipman, just another boy. But then he began to follow me around, to join me on the spine when no one else would. The other boys never told him the rumors about me, just that I was a monkey luddite. He saw me as a friend. I saw him as one too, until that day with the kraken when he asked me why I was on the ship. I lied. Told him that I was here because it was the safest place to be. He had understood, the features of understanding graced his face. His very handsome face, his almost fairylike face. Not too rugged and masculine like other boys and clean shaven, always clean shaven. At first I tried my hardest to ignore it. He was a good boy, a masculine boy, a boy who would attract hoards of women to his embrace. Probably a strong and comforting embrace. Something I can NOT think about. Our days were happy and full of work. But at night the thoughts of him crept back into my mind. I tried to distract myself, become more masculine in his presence to convince myself that I was not falling back into my condition. If not to further my torture Dylan tried his hardest to become closer through some innocence. He did not know about me at all

I remember when the ship was close to going down, how he saved me by jumping of the other side and balancing the weight. It was a crazy thing he did for a friend. Nothing more. He would care if I died because we were friends. He would never cry for me though. He was too strong a person. I am also pretty sure he isn't like me. I remember the first time I heard about the new Clanker prisoner I did not care much. I just wanted to see my friend and be done with it. It wasn't until I talked to him and he told me about his meeting with the boy. I told myself it was nothing. It _was _nothing after all right? He was a prisoner, an assignment. They were not even on the same side.

Dr. Barlow had lost all interest in me watching her eggs. When I heard the prisoner was doing it I was a bit more worried. He and Dylan would be alone together in a hot room, most likely with their shirts off…

NO

I was not meant to think like that. It's ungodly. Dylan is a good soldier and would never stoop so low as to…with the Clanker boy… ugh.

Still, one did think about it. My jealousy enhanced when that Clanker _thing _called a walker came bounding toward the _Leviathan. _Dylan ran out with the boy and… were they _hugging _out in the snow? Wait no there was a glint of metal. Dylan was holding him hostage. He showed his genius again.

Later on the Clankers joined the crew, I am not sure how that came about but it did. They even tried mutiny, but one of our men shot that Clanker boy down. He didn't die.

Unfortunately.

Dylan rescued me from a flaming death. I thought now with the boy in the sick bay and him saving my life we would be close again. Not so.

Dylan immediately disappeared off the ship. A painful month later he comes back…with the Clanker boy…

Being a homosexual is not easy. Being in love with a boy who has lost interest in me is even harder. Being in close contact with the kid who took my best friend away and not ripping his head off is very hard indeed. Ah well…Hey wait, you are not gonna…ya'know, publish this are you? Because you can't. If anyone finds out I'm…I'm well the way I am, my career is over! Hey where are you going? Wait! You do _not _have my permission to publish this interview…

…You forgot your micro-thingy!


	5. Chapter 5

_CRASH_

Oliver woke with a start to the sound of pots and pans clattering. Ma was trying to cook again, something Dad was always better at. The sound of arguing drifted up to his bedroom:

"Listen, Lillit, why don't _I _just do the cooking today. I don't really mind."

"I can do it! I can do it! I don't need your help for _everything _you know."

"You seemed to enjoy my help when we were kids."

Silence.

"That was different."

"Right."

"Why don't you make yourself useful and wake up Oliver."

"I could-"

"_Now _Dylan."

Oliver heard Dad's heavy boots on the stairs. The boy jumped up and hurriedly dressed back into his sleepwear, shoving a gown under the bed. It was not right what Oliver did, he knew that, girls wore dresses boys wore pants, but he didn't _like _pants, dresses just felt so much more free. When he was thirteen he had discovered the world of dresses, gloves, and makeup that had been reserved for girls only. It wasn't fair. He liked to look in the mirror and tell himself he was pretty, and he was in the right attire.

Dad was now at the door, he knocked twice and pushed it open. The man was very, _very _tall. His height made you feel small. It was sometimes a comfort, but after hiding something for two years his size made Oliver jittery.

"Happy fifteenth," Oliver's father told him. "You know I joined the air service at your age.

"Yeah," the boy said, not daring to glance to the bed to see if the silk blue dress was showing even the slightest.

"My hair was a bit shorter though," The man said unsteadily.

Oliver's hand shot to his scalp where he realized he had not cut it as Ma told him to the other night. He had kept it long so to wear hairpins and ponytails, but forgot to cut it in time for his birthday. His cousins would be over, the squirming babies would definitely mess up his hair.

"I have a surprise for you son," Dad said, "Get dressed and meet me outside. Oh, and make sure to eat as much of the breakfast that is edible, your mother will want to know what you think."

With that Dad left, allowing Oliver a breath of air. He loved his father, he truly did, but he was so terrified of Mr. Dylan Sharp, captain and hero of the air service finding out his only son liked to prance about like a girl. Oliver took time to put his dress in its regular hiding place and proceeded down the stairs. Ma saw him and offered his usual egg, or at least Oliver guessed it was an egg.

"Your father is waiting. Eat faster, he has been excited for this since you were born."

Oliver felt a shiver go down his spine and struggled to keep the scorched egg down. Flying. Dad was going to take him _flying _today. All the Sharps were airmen. Right back before the hydrogen airships were invented. Even Ma, though she was a girl, knew how to pilot a body kite. Oliver could feel himself shaking with excitement and fear. He had always wanted to fly, Dad explained it with such intensity, but it was _how _to fly that made Oliver nervous. Dad would most likely borrow a hydrogen breather from his air service mates and go up in that. Oliver did not like fabricated animals. Dad once told in detail how many of his friends went down because of a spooked beastie. It may be worth it, however, the curiosity of the sky was too much for Oliver to bear. Today he would find out of he could handle it.

When Oliver finished, his mother caught him before he could stagger outside.

"Your father and I have something important to tell you when you get back, so don't go running off."

Ma's face looked…sad…Why was she sad? Had she and Dad found out about his cross dressing? Oliver gulped and nodded.

"You look like your father when he was younger. Almost perfectly. All but your eyes."

With that she turned to her cooking. Oliver did look like his father, but Dad's eyes were blue and his were green. Heaven knows where green came from. Ma's eyes were brown.

It turned out that Dad was not outside, rather, he was waiting at the train station which lead to test flight grounds. That's about as much as outside was. Oliver got his share of waves and happy birthdays from people he knew. The baker's wife handed him a roll for free, and then the baker kissed her on the cheek.

Kissing was a strange thing, Dad and Ma never did it. Oliver doubted he wanted to kiss a girl himself and mess up her makeup. That did _not _mean he was a pansy boy mind you but he just didn't like girls too much.

Meting Dad at the station was not too difficult, he stood out like a sore thumb constantly.

"Come on Oliver, our train leaves soon"


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay the last one was kinda out of place. I don't know if I will continue or not. But anyway, I think it is high time for me to do an itunes fic! LOLOLOLOLOL THIS ONE ISNT RIGHT EITHER! WHOOOOOO**

**Our Solemn Hour by Within Temptation**

This was war. Insanity, hopelessness, lies, and blindness all around. There was no hero, there was no villain. This is war. This is all war will ever be. How could he not see? How could he not see her lying to him? How could he not see she loved him? Why did she have to wait until she died to tell him who she was. He never knew her first name. Her _real _first name. This was not a happy ending. This was a real ending. Because war is reality.

**If I Were a Boy by Beyonce**

Deryn knew what would happen next. Jaspert would slap Mildred, then tell her he did not love her, then go back to the bar to drink. It was always this way. All men were bad to their women. All except for Da, who was dead now. Deryn knew that if she were a boy, she would treat her girl right. She would love her wife dearly. She would never do what Jaspert did to Mildred. Never. If only she was a boy, Deryn would show that boys could be kind and compassionate. _If I were a boy I would still understand._

**Atomic by She**

This was Just like Dylan, Alek thought. Just like him to dance around as if he aimed to own the place. All the girls swooning. All the boys staring in jealousy at the sight of their girls swooning at another boy. He had everything he needed to be what he wanted to be. This was just like him.

**Let Me Go by 3 Doors Down**

"Not tonight Alek"

"What is the matter?"

"This isn't right."

"Look Dylan, I don't care if we are both boys, I love you and you love me right? Who cares what we were born as."

"Alek, you love me?"

"Of course I do Dylan."

"You don't know who I am."

**In The Dark of the Night by Anastacia**

Yes, he would find him. His irritating little Grandnephew who kept getting in the way. One day he would find him. On that day little Aleksander would be his. Rest now boy, your life will end soon. The one boy who got away. Farewell, Price Aleksander of Ferdinand, soon you will be completely out of the way.

**Dirty Little Secret by All American Rejects**

"You have to promise not to tell a soul"

"Dylan just who do I look like? I can keep all your Secrets"

"Even a dirty one?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Well, who else would need to know?"

**So short…THE CHEEZYNESS! IT BUUUUUUUURNS!**


End file.
